In Part I I gave some background on why sex is the hardest part of Ascension for men, and gave five reasons sex is hard before it even begins in earnest. Our male surmounted those challenges and is getting amorous now. What further hurdles does he face on his Ascension journey?
6 Men are petrified of bra clips
I know this sounds ridiculous, but it’s a thing. Braclipophobia should be a word. The damn things are tricky enough when a woman is facing you. Throw in that all the blood has left your brain to swell your penis and they become well nigh impossible to undo. A woman once told me that she struggled with bra clips so don’t beat your self up too much. Someone should run evening classes on this.
Eventually she takes pity on his pathetic schoolboy fumbling. Off comes her exquisite lingerie, which makes her feel like a goddess—but he simply wants out of the way because:
7 Male sexuality is goal-oriented
Historically, the successful patriarchal male killed his enemies, sexed his foes’ women, and procreated to perpetuate his conquering bloodline. This behaviour lives on in diluted form: a lot of male sexual behaviour is unconsciously focused on penetration and ejaculation (see Sex in patriarchy, Part II – penetrate and ejaculate).
Our basic definition of sex is based on whether penetration occurs. The phrase ‘to sleep with’—note that sex is so shameful it can’t be mentioned—requires a penis to penetrate a vagina. Otherwise something other than sex happened.
This focus on penetration and ejaculation is a totally male-centric construct and is equally disempowering for both genders. It often results, as Alifa Rifaat notes in Distant View from a Minaret, on the man climaxing before his partner has been satisfied and the sex ending. (In all fairness, the penis is biologically designed to go limp after ejaculation to stop it pumping the freshly deposited semen out of the vagina.)
Ascension introduces men to the wider potential of sex—of which actual penetration is only a part. I once danced with a woman, both of us naked. The feel of our bodies brushing against each other to the rhythm of the music was deeply sensuous. No sex happened. It wasn’t necessary—the experience was totally satisfying by itself, with no need for penetration or ejaculation.
Of course, penetration can’t happen if…
8 Erectile dysfunction
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is one of the great ailments of Late Patriarchal Man. He lives in a world of rapidly changing male roles and expectations, and struggles to come to terms with it. Faced with emotionally and sexually empowered women, his traditional role as the sole provider under threat, sex becomes a frightening arena where it was once simply a matter of turning up with a hard-on.
Cut sexual anxiety. Cue ED. Cue Viagra.
Ascension teaches men to show up both emotionally and sexually. When they do, the bedroom ceases to be a place of fear.
9 Premature ejaculation
This is ED’s companion in ailing Late Patriarchal Man. The entertainment and advertising worlds bombard him with titillating images. His ancient patriarchal programming tells him he should be conquering women by the—not sure what the appropriate unit of measure is here.
Yet he has also been programmed to regard sex as deeply shameful. A collision occurs in his unconscious, between his excited desire for sex and his sense that that desire is socially transgressive. Result: excited turns to excitable; excitable escalates to over-excitable. Premature ejaculation happens to short-circuit the sex act and soothe his confused, over-excited psyche.
The crippling emotional mechanics of premature ejaculation can be decoupled by recognising and releasing the unconscious shame we carry around sex. Then sex can carry on to a successful climax, at which point he feels:
10 The urge to bolt after climaxing
In the romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally, Harry (played by Billy Crystal) tellingly observes: “Go back to her place, you have sex, and the minute you’re finished, you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home—is 30 seconds enough?”
Sex has been shamed since the dawn of patriarchy. With Ascension, everything that’s emotionally damaged in any was comes to light. That means our sexual shame is rising to the surface for healing. For men, that shows up in Harry’s fuck-and-flight dictat above. We are ashamed of our bodies. We are ashamed of our genitals. We are ashamed of their urges. As soon as we meet them, we feel the urge to bolt.
Ascension teaches us to release all shame and BE in our bodies: these pissing, shitting, farting, fucking flesh machines that are the only means by which we can experience the miracle of life.
Let’s say our ascending male had made it this far. He’s surmounted his emotional lockdown, got into bed, got it up and had sex with some degree of satisfaction and intimacy for both partners. Is he home and dry? No. The worst awaits…
11 Deep down, men are still victimisers
Thousands of years ago, men seized sexual access as it suited them. That behaviour has gone away, but the programming that gave rise to it has never consciously been erased. It’s still there, lurking in the dregs of the unconscious of every male alive, an untamed beast that bites if approached.
When our Ascending male gets far enough along his journey towards emotional and sexual wholeness, he will approach that beast. It’ll start to leak into his life, showing up as inappropriate behaviour and projections of toxic masculinity.
Deep, deep down, there’s a part of him that longs for the days when men seized resources from their enemies and sex from their enemies’ wives and daughters. This standard patriarchal modus operandi is documented in the Bible: “Sisera and his troops are finding treasures to bring back—a woman, or maybe two, for each man” (Judges 5:30).
In spiritual terms, this violent expression of strength and intelligence is called the ‘lower masculine’. Those same qualities can be expressed in ‘higher’ ways that support and protect the feminine. That’s how masculinity works in 5D.
But to get there, we must confront this ancient, insatiable horror within. I’ve written about this in The Alien inside us – the lower masculine victimizer. It’s perhaps the most harrowing moment on the Ascension journey, certainly for men. Nothing of our patriarchal past can pass into the ascended 5D world.