You don’t choose it; it chooses you.
It chose me around 1998-99, though I didn’t notice any physical symptoms until 2002.
Someone pointed me at one of the early Ascension sites, the Crimson Circle. One of their blogs, The Lost Children of Christ, landed with such a thud that I found myself lying on the floor crying, feeling like I’d found the first shred of truth in my whole life.
The first lists of Ascension symptoms started appearing. I ticked all the boxes. Yet I was still dubious about this process that was supposedly going to miraculously transform humanity in the coming years.
It miraculously transformed me through porn addiction.
Here I am indebted to my professional training. I worked as a process analyst and software designer/developer for one of the largest factories in the southern hemisphere. Specifically, they manufactured from raw materials where every batch is chemically different. You don’t know what you’ve made until you’ve made it. It looks something like this:
It turns out that human emotional processes work in a very similar way. For instance, we all react to a negative event. But how we react differs for each of us—and that is determined by our unconscious programming: genetics, beliefs and past experiences.
Unconsciously, I used my process analysis skills to reverse engineer my way out of my porn addiction by looking at my thoughts, feelings and behaviours and deconstructing what the underlying, damaged programming was.
That broke the back of my addiction and set me on a path of documenting the emotional mechanics of Ascension that I’ve been following ever since.
This path led me to realise that I was profoundly ashamed of myself, and in particular of my sexuality. This led me to create a website at Michael H Hallett devoted to exposing the debilitating ways that shame diminishes us all and its origins in our patriarchal past.
This led me out of IT and into the world of education. In 2010 I was commissioned by the Thames Valley Police to create a primary school musical on the emotional roots of extreme behaviour. When Chemistry goes Bang! has been staged at several schools in Milton Keynes.
In 2016 I partnered with the Milton Keynes Council to create Stepping Stones: building school capacity to resist radicalisation. This workshop has been successfully delivered to local primary schools.
I was part of the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children’s ChildLine Schools Service, educating primary school children to recognise all forms of abuse. I worked for the Christian children’s charity World Vision, where I noted a correlation between the teachings of Jesus and those of current Ascension teachers.
While there is a lot of Ascension guidance out there, I found very little that focused on the emotional mechanics of the process and the particular challenges men face trying to heal their damaged sexuality and their historic role as aggressors. And so Ascension 4 Men was born.
My blog posts focus on the emotional mechanics of Ascension and particularly how they affect men. I post about once a week.
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Drawing of Michael H Hallett by Paul Berryman, Ridgmont Life Drawing Group