I’ve already talked about the importance of self-love in Ascension toolkit #15:
Ascension is the process of unconditionally loving every aspect of our selves. When our self-love is complete, we will have nothing left to transmute or transcend. It follows therefore that self-love is not just an important tool for everyone on the Ascension path but an essential one… Self-love is perhaps the ultimate tool in our toolbox: the acetylene blowtorch lurking in a dark corner of the Ascension workshop.
But sometimes the blowtorch isn’t enough. You turn the heat up to max, lower the shield and blast away at that stubborn blockage inside you. Your life melts around you—yet the blockage remains.
Perhaps you didn’t notice, but when you wheeled the blowtorch trolley out of the dim recesses of your Ascension garage there was a dusty, dark red package in the corner, grey with mould and heavily laced with cobwebs.
You notice it now, as if for the first time. It’s got one of those yellow electricity flash warnings, with the word DANGER written in large letters. Beneath that it reads DYNAMITE. We’re talking emotional dynamite here.
When self-love doesn’t do the job, go nuclear. It’s time for radical self-love.
Radical self-love explodes when you take an action that you need to take for yourself that those around you do not wish you to take. It might be quitting a job you can’t afford to quit. It might be a family situation—perhaps cutting off contact with an emotionally toxic relative. It might be reaching out for some emotional or sexual healing that ruffles feathers and pushes boundaries.
Radical self-love explodes when you take an action that you need to take for yourself that those around you do not wish you to take.
Self-love is a powerful healer. Radical self-love is explosive because it is self-love demonstrated in the face of opposition from your nearest and dearest. When you carry out that action—and radical self-love is always active, always involves some form of outward expression—a line has been crossed and there’s no going back.
It means having that conversation you’ve been dreading for years where you tell someone to stop their emotional bullshit. It means revealing you’re bisexual, not knowing how others will react. It means making that visit to an escort because your wife has lost interest in sex, stranding you in a loving but sexless marriage.
When you let off a stick of dynamite, something happens. It doesn’t pass unnoticed. Buildings collapse. Holes are blown in the ground. Cars overturn and catch fire. It’s the same with radical self-love. A radical action always generates a radical reaction. You must be prepared for this before you let off the dynamite.
Furthermore, you don’t—and can’t—know what the reaction will be.
It will go one of two ways. The first option is you will be rejected. Whoever is involved will blame you and shame you for ‘upsetting the applecart’ and will then spit you out of their life. Situation resolved. Messy, painful, but resolved.
The second option is that your radical self-love creates a vacuum that gives the other party both the courage and the space for their own radical transformation. Beautiful, healing, and situation resolved.
I’ve seen both reactions during my Ascension journey and can testify that the second option is infinitely preferable (for you) than the first. But it’s not your choice. They may not be ready for the jump you need to make. Respect their choice, respect their sovereignty, and let them go.
Ultimately, radical self-love teaches us that no one stands in the way of our own Ascension journey—only we do. From time to time we just need to be willing to set off some emotional dynamite to help get us there.